ALL Fun

Title: It's Gerg's faultAuthor

Gregory StephanArticle:I have been recently described as a person who has a distortedsense of reality. It’s not that I disagree with the notion; itis the fact that a label like that suggests an unstableindividual. The fact is that I do not live in everyone'sreality, but my reality is eighty percent mine. The remainder ofmy reality lives within my brain. His name is Gerg. Gerg is anunstable individual. You see, Gerg is in my head, but I stillcontrol most of my reality. He encompasses the other twentypercent of my distorted sense of reality. In fact, he is why Icould be called someone with this distorted reality complex.But, in reality, I let Gerg out once in a while and he is theperson that should be labeled as I have indicated. Gerg, whenreleased, is vile, bold, opinionated, loud, always right, nasty,grouchy and conceited. My favorite characteristic is that he isa complete jerk, capable of inflicting pain, sorrow andembarrassment to all he encounters. So, I say to all, it's notmy fault, its Gerg's fault. Gerg has been part of me for awhile. He has been responsible for many of the most unfortunateevents in my life. He was directly responsible for the sale ofmy last house and the rental history I have now. He was the onewho told me to sell your house, rent for a while, and then youcan buy a house. Gerg did this on purpose so that I would bestuck renting and wasting money. So, stop asking me if I amstill looking for a house for my family, it's not my fault, it'sGerg's fault. When Gerg gets out of my head too much, theconsequences can be devastating. He was the main villain in mydifficult, yet rewarding, divorce. Gerg kept me out of my houseso I could work two jobs. Meanwhile, Gerg was planning andimplanting his master plan to destroy my marriage. He performedat an optimal level considering he had such a short time tocomplete his task. Remember, he only gets out twenty percent ofthe time. I think he did a pretty impressive job. So, the nexttime someone asks me what happened to my marriage, it was not myfault, it was Gerg's fault. Gerg has had other impacts on mylife. He is the one that talked me into buying a car that turnedout to be lemon. I was ready to walk out, but Gerg pulled meback into the dealership to purchase the car. So, the next timesomeone asks me about my car, it's not my fault, it's Gerg'sfault. It was Gerg who insisted that I go back to college toadvance my career and to gain valuable knowledge. He was the onethat told me to sign a student loan for the next ten years. Ithink, maybe, just maybe, he might have done that to me becauseof his personality disorder. So, the next time someone asks meabout my college degree, it's not my fault, it's Gerg's fault.I will conclude by saying that I am still in control of whatGerg does from time to time. It is refreshing to take a breakand let Gerg take over. But, my distorted sense of reality is myreality. Gerg is part of everyone's reality. Anyone's Gerg canbe responsible for the path of your life. Your Gerg may bebetter than mine, but at least mine has his own reality. Not onethat is common among the normal reality that most screwed uppeople live with. So, the next time I hear that I have adistorted sense of reality; its not my fault, it's Gerg's fault.About the author:I write short stories to make people laugh and at the same timemake them feel